I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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