I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
