I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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