1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
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