he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
