Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
