It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
