What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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