I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
