if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
