Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi

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(353): View more from

I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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(318): View more from Louisiana

No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..

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(303): View more from Colorado

He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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(407): View more from Florida

Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again

(845): View more from New York

I give it a week.

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