Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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