new low.... made out with someone while peeing
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Come see our sink grown plant.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
