Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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