now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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