1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
