"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
