What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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