also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
