i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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