Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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