let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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