Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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