I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
