Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
