SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
