The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
