Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was confusing and full of hummus
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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