We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
