I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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