Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
