I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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