i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
