these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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