so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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