Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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