im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
