suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
