I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
the raccoons are back...
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