Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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