I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize