your parents love me but you hate me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
