She went from zero to smokin in five shots
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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