It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
