Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
