the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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