So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
