you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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