Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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