so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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