ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
