I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
