Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
