theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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