I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
