dude i'm inner monologue high
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
