No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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