I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
