i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
