And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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