I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
