My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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